Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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