she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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