I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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