all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
