Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
