You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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