I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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