can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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