I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
