I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize