Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
