She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
