Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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