He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
