Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
