On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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