How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
