I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Drake has all the answers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
