And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
