beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
