and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
