Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
honey bunches of taint.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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