Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
