me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
