I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
