i can't believe i had my finger in that
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
