You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
