I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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