That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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