A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
