Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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