Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
