bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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