Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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