connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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