i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
