3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
