he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
4 words: hood of his car
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
