i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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