I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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