please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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