May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
