Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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