I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
