I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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