Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
