and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
