I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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