I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
