Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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