is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize