took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
