Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
