Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
