I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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