I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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