Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
