no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
