i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
