Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
MIDGETS
????
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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